Prerequisites of Web Design

My computer is pondering what to do. I asked it to resize an image. Photoshop has thrown up confused white boxes where my tools used to be, the document hidden behind a large white panel, like a magician's assistant undergoing a transformation from duck to big breasted lady. Except if/when my computer rectifies itself I will see that the image I resized isn't quite small enough. So the process begins again.

I have chosen to work from home today. Comfort, the radio, a lie in, no smell of piss (as my office does at the moment, we've tried to deduce where the smell is coming from but have failed). All plus points. Except for the devil that hides in my computer. He's woken up this morning in a foul mood. Maybe because I started at 7 instead of 8, denying him his lie in.

I have had to control-alt-delete-end-task on Photoshop 3 times since starting this post. I have obviously been pushing it too far, asking too much. I am trying to remove a background on an image. I am using the mask tool. This is not brain surgery. The frustrating thing is, when I end task on it Photoshop, grudgingly showing 'not responding' in the task manager, happily and eagerly shuts down, quickly, effectively, efficiently, no hanging, no refusal, no non-responsiveness. Like its saying 'look what I can do!'. I feel maybe I should offer it a little praise for that. I feel like a naughty child has brought me breakfast in bed and I should forgive it for all past, present and future wrongs.

I am hoping my PC is listening to all this but I believe its sulking and will be offended I'm telling the whole world about its flaws. Maybe I'm being too harsh. I've heard a bad workman always blames his tools. Okay, I'll accept the bad workman label, I'll lovingly welcome it into my open arms. Because I will NOT stop blaming my tool.

Artists are supposed to bond with their tools, become one to work their craft, be merely a conduit for their creativity flowing through to their chosen medium. I am arm wrestling my chosen medium.

'Get a new computer'. Okay, yes I hear you. I'd like to believe that would be the end of this fiasco. But I have a reputation among friends and family. I break things. Electrical things. Computers, camcorders, video players, DVD players, TVs, personal stereos (or, getting down and hip with the kids, I've just acquired an MP3 player). Its not as simple as dropping or pouring an entire cup of coffee into my brand new University bought laptop and watching it bubble through the printer port at the back (not that that happened, it was just an example). They have INTERMITTANT PROBLEMS. They 'occasionally' don't work. Their error occurs infrequently, irrationally. And usually only with me.

My sister mentioned to me yesterday that I had left Snowboarder off my list of prerequisites that I had for the career of web designer. This is not technically true. I might say I can snowboard, but I wouldn't go as far as to say I was a snowboarder. Actually, to say I can snowboard is perhaps being a little generous. Side slipping down a blue run then falling over and periodically end up in tears probably doesn't really allow me to say I can snowboard (although I can turn, can possibly link two if going very slowly on a flat piece of snow with my boyfriend pushing me a lot and yelling words of encouragement but it will again end up with me falling over and ending up in tears).

Well, if snowboarding is a prerequisite of web design, then, surely having a reliable, sensible, dependable, consistent computer is.

Its my own fault. I opened my arms, heart, mind to Bill. I let him pour his Windows XP into my soul. I even *ahem* liked bits of XP (I say liked as they are far overshadowed by its flaws). I was told 'get a Mac get a Mac get a Mac'. But I thought 'no I'll just give it one more try. They can't be all bad'. Hahahahahaha.

My computer looks like a beast on paper. It looks like the stuff of dreams. Laid out the parts gleam like the pearly gates in the potential they could convey, the creative juices they could inspire.

But something went wrong. Maybe my cuddly, beautiful little Mogwai had water poured over its innards as a child, inducing gremlin like behaviour forever more. Maybe someone fed it after midnight.

So, I am about to order another computer today. Yes I've bitten the bullet, scoped them up, got my eye on a beauty. And the make? Yes, I'm sorry, I'm offering my soul once more to Bill. I think maybe its some sort of weird sadistic thing. I get a kick out of pouring my money into his pockets. I secretly love the idea of punishing myself with the torture of yet another PC. Unfortunately cash does not permit me to purchase Mac + software so PC it is.

Ooh and just so you know, this is inducing quite a bit of stress. And its only just gone 8am. I guarantee something china related will be broken by lunchtime and tears may well break the surface early this morning. Well, I have to live up to my name.