Praise Be

Yesterday I got a rather lovely bit of praise from a client. The email went directly to my boss, the client citing that I was 'a real asset', and am 'quick, willing and friendly' amongst other rather lovely things.

Well. Yesterday went along like a breeze. Clients rarely dole out significant amounts of praise, in case you'll suddenly realise that they need you as much as you need them and you suddenly double the cost of projects. Web banner? 180 x 150 with one sentence of text and a logo? That'll be twelve hundred pounds please. You want the best? You Will Pay (*evil-deep-booming-vaderesque-voice required for the reading of that sentence*).

Hmm, so I got in feeling rather smug and happy with myself last night. But as the course of the evening went on I started to fret a bit. I had, just as I left work, sent through some more design work to said client. I was wondering what would await me in my inbox this morning. As it happens the client has yet to look through the work so I am sat here conjouring up all the numerous design blasphemy I could have made (they're only banner ads so I can't have got them that wrong. Hahaha. Ah I have so much to learn...).

Now, PostToast, PostTea I have The Fear tickling away at my insides. The What Ifs mounting up like a layer of critical plaque over my creative gums (nice). I am On The Defensive - a regular manoeuvre for The WebStress - I am spraying my territory, building up my thick skin, guards on standby for the criticism I am anticipating.

This is quite exhausting, constantly being On The Defensive. It is a shame I can't accept criticism openly and lovingly, using it to my best advantage, to become (wait for it) a better designer. Good god. Yes, even for The WebStress who seems bound to the rock of middleweight design, preying on the ideas of others, there is the possibility to take that step to actually being really quite good if I am to 1. drop the barriers and 2. listen.

Problem is, even as I'm writing this I'm actually ignoring my own advice. While my fingers are using their own megaphone (by announcing my flaws to anyone who cares to trawl this blog), my brain is thinking about making another cup of tea. Seriously, throughout the majority of that last paragraph I was thinking 'mmm tea'. *sigh*.

So, I have found to enjoy my work, unbloodysurprisingly, I need constant consistent praise, each slightly more lovely than the previous (job's open if anyone fancies sitting by my desk being my Praise Minion. Cup of tea making abilitiy essential. Minimal pay but good job satisfaction. Good holidays). Glad to see I'm a well balanced, not-needy-in-the-slightest, open minded individual.

No, what I really need - and we're really getting to the crux of the matter here - and this is the bit where I have to do the leg work (or mind work) - is to Listen and Learn. Listen to my mistakes and Learn from them. Repeat after me: 'This will make me a better designer'...

Cup of tea you say?