Too much work, too little motivation

I am more than a little frustrated.

I have several emails of not very nice, not very constructive criticism and a large amount of vague, whittering amends to tackle.

My workload is actually making me feel rather sick.

But instead of knuckling down and getting on with the job in hand I have decided that the best way to tackle the situation is:

a. do all other unthreatening (which largely means unimportant/unnecessary) work that I can possibly derive from my to-do list in a bid to ward off the evil bullet points littering my inbox;
b. whinge about my workload and evil clients to anyone who will listen (and those that won't);
c. help my junior even though I really don't think they want it;
d. make cups of tea.

(you'll notice this list is very similar to the one that I tend to adopt when 'workless' as well).

But the sick feeling in my stomach and the adjitated and the disturbing shakey feeling in my arms (possibly caffeine induced, due to point d) is beginning to overtake all efforts to distract myself and I am having to readdress those emails before I really become noticeably unproductive.

But the problem is every time I open the email and read the first few lines my blood begins to boil.

My poor project manager caught the brunt of my fury this morning. I then had to send them a text message apologising for being such an unstable, firey, slightly unhinged designer (although I didn't put it quite like that, as they might not quite have realised the extent to my unsavoryness).

Since then, I have returned to the emails, each time with a clear head, a fresh start, a new look. Thinking 'its okay, its okay. Its only their personal, subjective opinion'.

But its no bloody good. I just can't do it.

I'm adding another four tasks to my list.

e. go running (limited time but at least not near a pc so can pretend am not a web designer and am actually world class athelete, until overtaken by the silver ladies and/or people walking/meandering/standing still)
f. eat lunch (even more limited time but immensely satisfactory)
g. write blog (in the process of, so should really not be on the list but wanted to make list look more productive)
h. write lists (a personal favourite, the art of being productive without actually being productive, and potentially indefinite)

Just one more look at those emails before I start task e then I'm sure I'll get the instant and inspiring motivation to don my PE kit and head out for my daily humiliation.