Imagination Generation and the Problems of Poor Productivity

I am not designing well today.

I am blaming my suffering skills on:

- the fact I didn't sleep well (caffeine improving alertness but deteriorating concentration and ability to sit still);
- having 'stuff on my mind' (there's no room for good design, even with clearing out the trash can of badly misinterpreted song lyrics);- the clocks being put forward (I'm out of synch, with what I don't know);
- the weather (well, I am English);
- being cross with the client (I have the 'why should I?' of a stroppy child installed);
- putting too much marmite in my sandwich (and ensuing sustained aftertaste);

While they may be weak in subject matter I can definitely justify my poor productivity levels with sheer volume of personal complaint.

But the problem is still present.

I am not being very creative. My work is just not very...good.

My short attention span and poor concentration is meaning that my usual productivity rate, which is usually my redeeming factor against average design work, is being diluted ten fold across other means of spending time, namely blog-writing and tea-making.

But the caffeine intake is also causing me to shake a little; my arms are tense and tingling and I'm generally quite on edge (possibly because I'm mildly concerned about my heart rate).

And, as the day is fast dwindling away and I'm point blank refusing to stay any later than my assigned hours today, the realisation that today is going to have to be resigned to an 'unproductive day' is gradually settling in.

I will get home and feel like I have not been an effective, productive, and ultimately good person today. I have not achieved. I have not done anything worthwhile. I feel guilty that my employers have not gained anywhere near the workload yield they should have out of their WebStress today.

I know people who daily do bugger all and don't feel an ounce of regret or remorse.

On the other end of the scale, I know those who crave for activity and I feel guilty. I feel like I'm taunting them; look I've got work and I don't even feel like doing it. To them I'd say, please understand, its not that I don't feel like doing it, its just if I do it I'm going to do it badly, so maybe I should just make a cup of tea and have a think about it before I begin in earnest.

I have an hour left to improve my yield before I head trainwards.

If I write another blog entry before I leave, you know I've failed.